Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I am German Pointer

andTim is a German Pointer.

At least that is the dog type that best represents me. I keep posting these heavy-topic blogs, so on a lighter note this site runs you through a series of questions (took less than 3 minutes) so that you can determine your canine likeness. I encourage all to take time out and go to this site:


Click on "Game", then on "Play".

Please post your dog type and name under comments.

Thank you for your cooperation. Enjoy your day. If someone can come up with an equivalent cat game, I would definitely be in for that as well. Thanks.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

makes offensive a lot does Borat

call me old fashioned or call me just flat out old, but i cannot get behind the Borat. i have not seen this movie yet, but i probably won't because i really do not want to contribute any money or support to this idea or grovelling for humor. i did watch the first four minutes of the movie on youtube though from a link a buddy of mine sent me, so i feel like that combined with doing a little research on Borat websites and wikipedia i can at least give my opinion based on the information i know. i will admit this may be unfair until i see the entire movie and that perhaps i am Borat ignorant. i will not admit that what i have seen to date is not offensive though.

i agree that the picture attached to this post is somewhat funny without knowing anything else about Borat. most of us are suckers for low quality humor such as physical embarrassment and making fun of the appearance of others. will ferrell and ben stiller both take part in such humor in many circumstances. for example, it is funny to see will ferrell in an elf costume in the movie Elf. something about that alone looks so absurd that it becomes humorous.

Borat is a fictional character from Kazakhstan. you can watch the movie trailer by going HERE
and then clicking on the blue rectangle in the middle which says "Please see my MOVIE you can be seeing small pictures NOW!! MAKE CLICK". Borat is basically a stereotype of an uncivilized, uneducated Kazakhstani journalist who first shows off his native land by telling villagers not to have sex with animals while he is gone and gives his sister a extended smooching that gives the idea that sexual acts within the family are acceptable. he also makes light of the level of sophistication and hygeine of people from Kazakhstan and frequently utters mixed up nonsensical sentences, often including comments about oral sex, prostitution, and reproductive organs.

i find this character inconsiderate and disgusting. in a time where we have much tension between different nations around the world i do not see how directly targeting a particular country and making a joke out of them is a good idea for a movie. the Kazakhi Foreign Ministry had the following statement regarding Borat's behavior of inappropriately touching children on stage as a joke at the MTV Europe Music Awards...

"We do not rule out that Mr. Cohen is serving someone's political order designed to present Kazakhstan and its people in a derogatory way. We reserve the right to any legal action to prevent new pranks of the kind. We view Mr. Cohen's behaviour at the MTV Europe Music Awards as utterly unacceptable, being a concoction of bad taste and ill manners which is completely incompatible with ethics and civilized behaviour."-Yerzhan Ashykbayev, Kazakh Foreign Ministry Spokesman

by that statement it would appear that i am not the only one who finds this offensive, and i am not even from Kazakhstan. in response, Borat speaks of Kazakhstan having some of the cleanest prostitutes in central asia and homosexuals are no longer required to wear blue hats and thus Kazakhstan being a civilized nation. Borat is a sophomoric attempt at a quick laugh, but i wouldn't be surprised if that is in fact what he ends up getting. this movie will probably be successful, i just think it is weak.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Limbaugh Vs. Stem Cell TV Ads

I, andTim, listen to Rush Limbaugh regularly. I think he's a great voice of reason and logical thought. This aside...

People (The Media and Left-Wing) are pitting him against Michael J. Fox because they make it out to be "Limbaugh has no sympathy for sufferers of Parkinson's disease". This is stupid. Limbaugh merely has no sympathy for someone who would turn the healing of disease into a partisan issue. This is akin to the idea that George Bush WANTS a war in Iraq and does not care about the fortunes of our soldiers-


No one WANTS disease. No one WANTS people to die in warfare. (Possible exception being radical islamic groups) These are not partisan issues. Whether or not we should go to war can be a partisan issue, but EVERYONE wants disease healed. Do not be mislead into thinking that opposing stem-cell research or opposing a Michael J. Fox television ad has ANYTHING to do with lacking the desire to find a cure for the disease. (In this case MJF's Parkinson's disease.)

It is indeed Michael J. Fox's right to present himself in whatever state he likes... but having a disease does not preclude you from or give you an automatic exemption from POLITICAL criticism. He fired a shot from the Longbow of the Left, and Rush merely answered back with a Rocket from the Right.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Post-Post

Hang with me on this one... I think I have some prophetic insight for once....if you are having a bad day or already depressed, I would recommend against reading... (Kevin Costner poster included for intentional humor, and because he is Mike's favorite actor.)

Most people would agree that we have entered a Post-Industrial Age. It has become popular to label this era of human history the Information Age. I agree- we are solidly in the Information Age. However, I think the next age will be best characterized best not by the dominant technologies available, but by the mindset of the masses.

I think the next age will be comprised of several new "posts" stemming from one main theme:


Somewhere someone is already concocting a vodka ad to this point. (Ad agencies are notoriously quick to pick up pop culture slang, and mikeandtimblog.blogspot.com is daily becoming more influential in pop culture... or so we are told by our representatives. Post-existential vodka ads are rather predictable anyway.) Anyway... we will enter an era of Post-Absolutes, where absolutely nothing that could possibly provide pleasure will be considered dangerous or unlawful. Here are 3 other "posts" that will come about as a by-product:

1) Post-Music
2) Post-Gender
3) Post-Marriage

Many would argue that we are already in a state of Post-Marriage. (Friend of mikeandtimblog.blogspot.com, Po Bronson, recently wrote an article talking about this on Time.com) I would have to agree. If not already an absolute, the statistics regarding marriage speak to this point strongly. Most people marry because they want to spend the rest of their life with the person (love) and they want to start a family (procreation). A good marriage requires selflessness and sacrifice, however as I will soon talk about extensively in my upcoming blog about Conservatism- selfishness is the opposite of love, and you cannot have a healthy family environment without sacrificing your personal desires. In a society where EVERYTHING is about you and how you can find pleasure, it will not take too long until marriage is obsolete.

As far as gender, it has almost become meaningless in our society. That is why we will enter a period of Post-Gender. (We may already be there... I will have to consult mikeandtimblog.blogspot.com reps in San Francisco... aka my cousin, the Mao Zen Master, Michael Hart Leggett... and the future CEO of global economic juggernaut Carter and Associates, Christopher G. Carter) While I personally think that gender is vital to human identity, civilization, and existence, you have to consider the ROLE of gender. In my opinion, you have to acknowledge that human beings were created by an intelligent force in order to see any role for gender. As a Christian, I see the purpose of gender to reflect the feminine and masculine qualities of God, more specifically the feminine and masculine qualities of love. Given that people don't seem to know what they want sexually, gender becomes a non-issue. It is all a matter of what experience gives you the greatest amount of gratification with the least amount of effort. If someone can explain to me why feminine lesbians prefer masculine lesbians over masculine men, that would be interesting too. This makes no sense to me.

Finally we come to Post-Music. Many of the things that have defined music over the years- harmony, melody, rhythm, singing- are quickly being dismissed. There is no original subject matter discussed in commercial hip-hop for example. None. There is nothing poetic or artistically important about any platinum rapper in the last year- or maybe more. And this is our MOST popular style of music. Rock music has stagnated with the exception of a daring few whose declining record sales continue to remove them from popular culture. (ie: Radiohead) However sound passed off as music will continue to exist simply because of the innate carnal power of an arrangement of notes. Eventually music will solely exist as a background to sexual forays- only serving to vacillate according to the varying levels of excitement in our libido. Someone somewhere will match the beat of music to our pulse rates or hormonal release if it has not already been done. Connecting these systems, along with drug use will create the next ultimate experience. (apologies to Jimi Hendrix album of the same name) In fact, "music" will probably be tangibly interactive once someone somewhere marries a guitar or keyboard effect to the human nervous system. Music will not be appreciated on its own simply because it will be considered antiquated to appreciate music for the talent of an individual. Ironically, only collective composition efforts will be appreciated in providing individual pleasure. The quality of music will only be evaluated insofar as its ability to complement hedonistic experiences both sexual and non-sexual.

Well- feel free to comment, these are just ideas after all. And there are answers- but the World will likely continue to get worse until it gets better. The next blog will offer hope to escape these things...

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

generic miscues

on occasion, we here at the mikeandtim laboratories feel the need to run tests, experiments, and tests on certain goods. many things are tested here at the labs. by many, i mean a lot. we procure items from stores, and we test them. it is that simple.

this particular write up protects the penny-pincher from him or herself. at the super secret mikeandtim product testing labs, we have recently selected a few name-brand products and thrown them in the octagon of battle against an "equivalent" generic item. now i come from the world of construction and submittal processes for a specified item "or equivalent", and more than once in the course of history the "equivalent" item substituted for the real mccoy is not quite of equal value. the following are a few items of which have been declared unsuitable to purchase the equivalent generic item in place of name-brand.

1. Kleenex - the Kleenex (of Puffs) tissue is of a much higher quality than the generic brand tissue. if you buy the generic brand made by your local grocer, you will be sorry. it is cold/flu season and i subjected myself to the Kleenex imposter only to rip hole after hole in tissue paper while blowing my nose and i am telling you, there is not much worse than having a sore nose and snot on your paws when you already feel like dogcrap. do not buy generic tissues.

2. Q-tips - do NOT under any circumstance spend money on generic brand "cotton swabs". these are not even close to the Q-tip. the Q-tip has at least 50% more cotton on the end of the swab and you are in danger of damaging your earhole if you use a cheapo swab. i could not be more serious about this. protect yourselves and your loved ones from imposter Q-tips.

3. Toothpaste - yes, i realize that we are on a trend of toiletry items here, but these are the most commonly purchased generics on the market. do not buy cheap toothpaste. it tastes like mint flavored socks. you heard me.

4. flip flops - if you buy a $3 flip flop at a gas station or some such, prepare to buy yourself another pair of flip flops within 72 hours.

5. multi-vitamins - stay away. i dont care if it says they have the same vitamins and ingredients as Centrum or another name brand. we have a bottle of generic vitamins and i think my wife and i have both eaten 1 each, and that was at the same time. within 5 minutes we both thought we were going to vomit due to stomach discomfort.

write those 5 items down. many items you can buy super cheap generics in lieu of, but the five items mentioned above have been proven to be bad generic purchases. there are more, but 5 is enough for today, and our scientists are tired.

Epic Blog coming...

I am working on a huge blog about Conservatism and Liberalism based on a forum thread on Rollingstone.com- but I have a job. I will finish this tonight and post tomorrow. Thanks for checking in-


Monday, October 16, 2006

Nike Running Shoes

I am a huge fan of Nike running shoes. Most all of the running shoes I have ever owned have been Nikes and I think they are probably the best shoes ever created by man. Versatility, Comfort, etc. This a picture of my new running shoes, which came with a complimentary Varsity Running T-Shirt. Tremendous. I ran the other day and was just flying in the new shoes. (By my standards- 7:00 min miles)

Maybe it's the Forrest Gump thing in me, but I definitely agree with him that they are probably the best gift you can give anyone. Unfortunately I gave them to myself, but what can you do? I recommend going out and getting a pair of Nike running shoes today.

I am hereby rescinding my support for A-Rod, although I hope he is traded to the Astros. I am hoping that the Aggies continue their winning ways, and as much as it pains me to say this.... I am attending my first LSU football game this weekend. Geaux... tigers. Ugh. Difficult to type.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Saw "The Departed" last night....

Overall, it is a good movie. I had heard all of these superlatives from reviewers going in, so I was expecting something in the upper stratosphere of movie making. While it is good, it leaves something to be desired.

First- the movie is 2:30 long. Which is great. I, andTim, prefer longer movies. For the most part longer movies generally equate to more complete storytelling, better character development, and better plot development. It is probably rare that someone has to go back and re-shoot footage to make their movie long enough, as is evident by the "Deleted Scenes" feature on most DVD's.

The problem is this... there is still a lack of relationship development between characters. Namely, DiCaprio and the police psychologist. (Forgot the character's name... but she was a good casting choice). Also, what is Nicholson's motivation? Power? Wealth? He seems to have reached the apex of both in his world. What did he have left to prove? Why did his guys follow him like they did? Riches? Power? Fear? It is never really explained.

There is definitely plenty of "good" violence and language in the movie... but I'll tell you this much... I am getting sick of the New England/New York bias in movie-making. Sure, they have cute "Southy" accents and attitudes, but is this the sole creative place by which someone can write an artistically valuable gangster movie? Not that the mob is prevalent in Texas, but c'mon. Those of us who do not live on the east coast or the west coast deserve representation outside of football movies. I started to resent the somewhat pretentious mood of this style of filmmaking about 3/4 of the way through. I just OD'd on the contrived writing of witty jokes and "I'm a badass with this line" and the responding "Oh, you think you're a badass? I've got a more badass line than you could ever consider!" It's like a battle for gangsta movie line deepthinking, and I no longer buy it.

DiCaprio, Damon, Nicholson, and Mark Wahlberg give great performances in this movie. They are some of the best actors of our generation. And I really never thought I would say that about the former "Marky Mark". Well- go enjoy. I will put down a diatribe on the stupidity of liberalism later. For my inspiration go read the essay posted on Moby.com today.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Simple Joys

Given that we regularly bring on intensive and heavy commentary on all things pertinent and impertinent in the world here at mikeandtimblog.blogspot.com, I felt it was necessary for a simple joys blog.

1- Great Weather

Part of growing up and living along the Gulf Coast is that you have weather between 90 and 100 F for half the year. Add in a little humidity and minimal wind, and you're looking at close to triple digit heat indeces almost daily. So when we get these little stretches of 85 high/60 low temp days, it is awesome. It was 56 here in Baton Rouge last night. While people in other parts of the world may get this often, it is rare for us and exists only about 4 weeks out of the year. And we love it.

2- Hot Showers

Those who know me know that I love the long shower. While this runs contradictory to my "Save the Earth" mentality, I defend it by the fact that it helps relieve sore muscles, allows me great time to think (no distractions), and of course becoming tremendously clean in the process. In centuries past you would have had to go to the river or well, start a fire, put the water in a pot, and then somehow afix it to the shower mechanism. Between potential scalding and spending 2-3 hours preparing for a 10 minute shower, it would have just never happened. Yet, most of us do it daily. So great.

3- Chocolate Milk/Ice Cream Sandwiches

I must give Tae Park props for this one. I have a tendency to "overthink" my life. I'm convinced that's why Mike created the blog in the first place, he couldn't take too many more of my thoughts involuntarily. The blog at least gives him the option... anyway...

Tae is one of the best people I know, a good Korean man who works as an Engineer, plays a mean game of dominoes, treats his friends with total grace and servitude, and will defend his favorite sports teams to the death. He also loves chocolate milk. He has a ranking system 1-5 of his favorites, but since we are obsessed with the pinnacle of perfection and achievement here at mikeandtimblog.blogspot.com, I will give you only No. 1: Oak Farms Dairy.

The fact that you can go in any gas station and get an ice cream sandwich or chocolate milk is just tremendous. Guaranteed to increase your average daily life happiness by 5 points. (On a scale of 0-100) I think that I average around a 70, as I am still lacking points based on lack of general life direction, procrastination, underachievement, and lack of regular marital sex. So in the scheme of things, 5 points for snacks is pretty impressive.

4- Listening to CD's you haven't listened to in a long time

In brief... I loved the Dave Matthews/Tim Reynolds Live at Luther College albums when they came out. It was at the peak of my interest in Dave, at the peak of my college experience, at the peak of my desire to play acoustic guitar driven rock. The good news: this album holds up. I don't think I listened to any songs on from these albums for the past 5 years before reacquiring this album a couple of weeks ago. Tremendous.

5- Building stuff out of wood

If you're unhappy at all, buy some wood and build something. I don't know if it is possible to be unhappy when woodworking. The same can be said about wearing overalls and listening to Reggae, as they are automatic glee generators.

In conclusion... need a good day? Wait for good weather, put on some overalls, buy some wood and build something. While building, listen to Bob Marley, drink some Chocolate Milk while taking a break and then have a hot shower. This is what heaven is like for the single man in Baton Rouge in modern day.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Ugh....Requisite Mark Foley Commentary

<----- Dennis Hastert (This is either a frustrated or constipated face, or both) If you look at Time's pictures used for their quotes of the day, they are decidedly partisan. I have been evaluating this phenomenon for close to 2 years. Time should be renamed "Socialist Chronography".

Alright, here it is- since we have vowed to be a non-biased news source and give America clear direction:

-Mark Foley is complete slime and filth. He should be punished to the full extent of the law.

-Dennis Hastert (Speaker of the House) should not be held liable if it is found to be true he new nothing about the Instant Messages. His job is not to babysit idiot homosexual predator pedophiles. It is to help represent the people and guide the country. There are probably 500 illegimate scandals brought against congressmen every year, it was unfortunate that this one turned out to be real. Hastert is not the FBI, he is not spending his time as a watchdog making sure no one does anything illegal. When considering Hastert consider this: Do you have a job? Do you have a busy day-to-day life? Now take that and multiply it by 5 and you probably have an idea as to how devoted the Speaker of the House has to be to his job. Probably not a whole lot of extra time to spend hunting down the random IM's of some jackass.

-Apparently these IM's were at least 3 years old. 3 years! Whoever HAS known about this for this long and managed to spring it 35 days before an election- they have a special place in Hell. They should be held to almost the same punitive standard as Foley! Could you imagine knowing someone who was out there doing stuff like this and just sitting on it for 3 years for political advantage? Gross.

-This is one man and one man's actions. That's it. The blame should not extend beyond Mark Foley unless it is proven that other people had CONCRETE knowledge of the REAL CONTENT of the IM's. There is way too much assumption going on given very few of the facts are really known. This is an epidemic problem within the media as the line between fact and opinion has been irreparably blurred. And that's all for me... have a good weekend faithful readers.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

best team ever?

evidently andTim is watching the American League Division Series tonight as well, since as i am typing this post he has already endorsed Alex Rodriguez. there is no question he is one of the best players that will ever play the game. he does have a knack for drawing attention to himself though. i have been a Rangers fan for about 4 years now and for some reason or another a lot of people disliked him. perhaps it was because he handcuffed the team with his unprecedented and irrefutably ridiculous salary. or maybe it is because he occasionally says things like the following excerpt from ESPN.com...

"[Mike] Mussina doesn't get hammered at all," he told SI. "He's making a boatload of money. Giambi's making [$20.4 million], which is fine and dandy, but it seems those guys get a pass. When people write [bad things] about me, I don't know if it's [because] I'm good-looking, I'm biracial, I make the most money, I play on the most popular team ..."

hmmm. really? this is also the same guy who says you can take his house and his cars away from him, but just don't take his clothes. nice.

i totally got sidetracked from my original post, which was that Mr. Rodriguez happens to be a key player on the best team of all time. i have no idea if the 2006 Yankees will win the World Series, but it seems like they probably should. look at this lineup...

Johnny Damon
Derek Jeter
Bobby Abreu
Gary Sheffield
Jason Giambi
Alex Rodriguez
Hideki Matsui
Jorge Posada
Robinson Cano

you may say..."yeah, thats pretty solid except for that unknown Robinson Cano dude." well, you may not know his name yet, but considering the guy hit .342 with 15 homers and a .525 slugging percentage in 122 games this year you will probably get to know him. oh, did i mention he is 23 years old? yeah, probably has some more good years ahead of him.

this roster is ridiculous. they didn't get shutout until the 73rd game of the season, which was the second game of a doubleheader that had been delayed due to heavy rains. i would consider these adverse conditions and almost do not even count it as a true shutout. Matsui and Sheffield didnt even play, and Posada had one pinch hit at bat.

if the Yankees do not win the World Series this year i would be surprised. the only thing holding them back is that they have a near-geriatric pitching staff. on a side note, 2007 is the 'Stros year.

Rooting for A-Rod

Alex Rodriguez is an easy target. He has the highest salary of any MLB player ($25,000,000+) and he plays for the highest profile team in baseball... the New York Yankees. So far he has had one of the most impressive careers of anyone to play the game and he is on pace to break some of the most prominent all-time hitting records baseball has to offer.

So it would seem that I, andTim, would have a difficult time rooting for him. (I like the underdog)

But I will root for him. Why? He is more scrutinized than any player in any sport right now. TO actually beats him out, but he brings it on himself. A-Rod is an altarboy next to Owens. He has performed at the top of pro baseball for 10 years, and yet he isn't respected largely for being considered weak in clutch moments. Unclutch, if you will. I don't buy it.

Whether he is clutch or not is difficult to establish quantitatively or statistically. But the guy is a gamer. To average 153 games played per season over the last 11 years he has had to play through pain, cold streaks, trades, position changes, and more. And through this time he has averaged 43 home runs and 125 RBI's per 162 game seasons. Yet, the guy's career is halfway through and Yankee fans boo him.

Avg: .290- 32nd in the league
HR: 35- 8th in the league
RBI: 121- 4th in the league

Yeah, he deserves to be booed. It's just ridiculous. So I will root for A-Rod, mainly because I root for excellence as well- and he exemplifies excellence in baseball.

Monday, October 02, 2006

My Breast Cancer letter to Hillary Clinton

This was a forum put up on yahoo recently to tell Mrs. Clinton how we should attack the breast cancer problem.

** Quick Disclaimer **
The following represents conservative political theory.

Throwing time at the problem is the best solution. Teams of researchers need a lot of time to work to find a solution. The money to provide salaries, labs, and equipment to researchers should come from PRIVATE CITIZENS- not the government. This enhances accountability and efficiency that cannot be found through government programs.

The way to give US citizens more disposable income is to cut spending on superfluous government programs. The resulting additional income allows Americans to spend more time at home, and less time at work, giving them more time to educate themselves and eat healthier (non-carcinogenic) foods. More personal time allows for researching and finding good privately-funded organizations to donate funds to for breast cancer research.

So rather than taxing citizens to give money to groups like the NEA (National Endowment for the Arts), we should allow citizens to keep their money and morally decide which is more important: Crucifixes placed in jars of urine (an example of modern art) or saving the lives of women facing an epidemic-level illness.

The government needs to trust the people to make good, morally-conscious decisions with their money, not allow for the irresponsible dispersion of funding via a body of people with remote accountability at best. (Financial decision-makers in government positions) Thanks for reading.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

General Thoughts on Football, Purses, and Wilco

- Girls with giant expensive purses may as well wear signs that say, "I am a high-maintenance pain in the ass who can't hold a conversation".

-The same could also be said for girls who wear giant sunglasses. They just look incredibly stupid. The only reason they are acceptable is due to the fact that sunglasses are intended to shield your eyes, so if they're huge- they are actually serving a quality function despite looking terrible.

-The Aggies lost and it was a heartbreaker, but at least it was close. I am starting to hate losing to Tech more than losing to UT.

-I will soon post a master blog on I why I really don't care much for the NFL, but for now I'll just say that I really don't care much for the NFL.

-Driving from Baton Rouge, LA to College Station, TX on a Friday afternoon/evening is an absolute beating.

-Wilco's "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot" is probably the best road trip album I own. And given that I have undeniably great musical taste and a pretty deep musical collection to draw from- it may be the best road trip album ever. Heavy praise, I know. But it is great. Jeff Tweedy, you are now on my list of geniuses. I can also spend $3.63 on Diet Coca-Cola and Pall Mall cigarettes.