mikeandtim

Are You Kidding Me? - Jan. 2007

This was a headline on Yahoo.com this morning:

U.K. Schools Urged To Tell Parents If Children Are Obese

WHAT?!!!

Ummmm.... if your kid is 10 years old, 4'6" and pushing 140 lbs- SHOULDN'T THIS BE OBVIOUS? CUT HIM OFF! No more buffet for the fatty!

Here are the points that I am making... I apologize to those human beings remaining that have intelligence, as this will insult you:

1) Parents should be spending enough time with their kids to be able to keep an eye on whether they are turning into Augustus Gloop. (Kid who falls into the chocolate river in Willy Wonka)

2) Parents should not be sitting around with 4'6" Nigel (this is Britain) thinking (read with British accent), "Well, it seems Nigel is a bit heftier than this time last year. Come to think of it, he doesn't even have to "mind the gap" anymore because he can roll right over the bloody gap!" In other words, shouldn't you take steps to make sure your kid doesn't turn into a parade balloon? ("Mind the Gap" is a reference to the spoken voice on the London Subway which reminds you at every stop not to fall in between the train and the platform.)

3) Are people really so non-observant that the School has to tell them that Nigel is obese? I may not be a health and fitness guru, but everyone knows a fat kid when they see one.

Well... I am done with my rant this morning. Bottom line, look at your kid, you know.... once a month or so, if they are "becoming a bit portly" PUT THEM ON A FREAKING DIET. MAKE THEM GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY "FOOTBALL". Thus I have officially declared another Yahoo headline as superfluous and unnecessary... kind of the news equivalent of Nigel's 38th Twinkie after school.

posted by mikeandtim @ 5:46:00 AM