Thursday, August 31, 2006


an interesting topic to me is the ownership or non-ownership of things. for some reason people are very into this; it is our nature as humans to do so. we are constantly evaluating things. maybe one dislikes chocolate ice cream. maybe it is wearing loafers without socks. maybe it is liking Los Angeles. whatever our likes and dislikes are shape us as a person. we somehow identify with others or other things in an effort to develop our own person.

what is it about owning the obscure or unknown that impresses others? does it impress others? does it make one feel better about oneself? a fine example of the ownership clause of the obscure is when music listeners try and find the next big thing. why do we do this? i cannot deny that i have done this in the past. perhaps for some it is the freshness of originality. perhaps we are just after finding something others have not because it distinguishes ourselves. distinguishment may be the driving force here. in a world where anyone with internet has access to pretty much any piece of information one would ever inquire about, is it possible that we are striving to find the undiscovered? the pilgrims may not have had it all bad. they had an earth that was not yet proven to be round or flat, they had an entire continent that was sparsely inhabited. these days there are no gold rushes, no true colonizations of foreign lands, and nothing for the common man to stake his flag and claim. many of us have this desire, to chase after uniqueness and avoid the mundane. do you? what do you seek that forms part of your identity?

Monday, August 28, 2006

My New Home

Okay.. we may now have to change our name to This undoubtedly would give us longest non-intentional blog name of all time. Actually, since Mike lives in Dallas and it is unparalleled as Weinerville, U.S.A., Earth, we should change the name to thus making the name even longer and more accurate. Denham Springs, LA... fear me.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

McManders is a filthy little goblin

i was home sick on thursday and friday due to some form of stomach virus, no bueno. i slept most of thursday and ventured out only one time to visit the CVS pharmacy and purchase the largest bottle of Pepto that they had and a Gatorade. certainly this caused me to receive a quasi-sympathetic but more fearful look from the dude at the register.

on friday, i at least had a little energy to get up and move so i left the house to get a Smoothie for lunch. i walked out my front door and as i was heading down the sidewalk to my car i noticed somewhat of a pitterpatter rain like sound. turning to my left, i see the forbidden taking place in Old Man McManders' yard. McManders has his yard sprinkler going full throttle, in the middle of the day circa 11:30am on a Friday. if you are a first-time mikeandtim reader, perhaps you do not notice why this is a big deal. in my seemingly inexorable battle with McManders over City and Homeowners Association rules that no one even knows about except for us two (i have been forced to keep up to date, see previous McManders entry on how he accused me of "breaking the law", of which i was vindicated) the scene of McManders watering his yard at off hours and on the wrong day put me in disbelief. i nearly fainted due to the perplexity. perhaps i should have walked right over there and told him that he was in fact breaking the law, the same charge that caused him to march over to my door months ago making such allegations. instead, i gave the McManders estate a look of disgust, then continued on, got in my car, and headed to the Smoothie King. consider yourself fortunate McManders, next time i may not be so forgiving.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

job title confusion

since andTim never posts anymore, i must post. and by post, i mean waste your time with nonsensical palaver.

please help me in choosing a job title. since March, i have been asked to take on the jobs of the following:

Sales Coordinator
Construction Manager
Leasing Manager

typically these would be given to three separate people. of course i have my old job that this was all added to, which brings up the trouble of establishing what i do exactly. so i have come up with the following ambiguous job titles of which i need you, the mikeandtim reader, to help me pick one for when i order business cards...

option 1: Consort
option 2: Liaison
option 3: Consigliere

option 4: Escort
option 5: Envoy

all are confusing and do not even give the slightest idea of what i actually do. make no mistake, confusion and ambiguity is the goal here. which should i choose?

Monday, August 14, 2006

i am done with you, Mr. Guitar Center

i have been playing guitar since i was 16 years old. my first guitar was procured by my Uncle, who at the time lived in St. Louis and owned (i think) a music store. this guitar was an Alvarez dark sunburst acoustic guitar, full body, and easy to play. it was what i received from my parents on my 16th birthday, and it couldn't have been any greater.

my second guitar (and my 3rd and my 4th) were all purchased at Guitar Center. with each subsequent purchase i learned that these prices can be negotiated. some of them can be negotiated quite a bit. i think the Larrivee acoustic guitar i own was tagged at $2250, and i bought the thing for $1650. this is not "list price" vs "store price", the list price on the guitar was like $3000, which is completely absurd and completely irrelevant. "List price" should mean nothing to the musician.

before this turns into a long and unnecessary exposure of my guitar dream repository, here are the seven elements of my last trip to Guitar Center that made me officially disgusted with the place:

1. immediately upon entrance, three people flocked to my face like used car salesmen asking if they could help me find something.

2. signage is terrible. i have no idea where to frickin go once i am in there and i have probably been to 10 different Guitar Centers which all have different layouts. the place is a maze.

3. after stiff-arming the salespeople, the loud awful imitation riffs of Lynyrd Skynyrd and Three Doors Down pollute my earhole. correction: earholes. both of them. both ears instantly hate me and try to drag me to the exit. good thing they are made of cartilage or they may have had enough strength to remove my body from the store.

4. i cut through the jack osbournes and dave navarros to get to the percussion section. i love the percussion. however, once in there, the youngest Hanson brother was banging a no-rhythm symphony of awfulness and i couldnt hear myself think, let alone hear the conga or wooden-thing-with-fish-net-beads-on-the-outside-of-it-thingy that i was attempting to test for sound.

5. i leave percussion, go to acoustic guitar room. 3 dudes have pulled all the Martin guitars off the wall. i still dont understand the Martin. the most expensive Martin in there sounds like crap compared to my Larrivee of 1/3 the cost. just my opinion. perhaps my auditory senses were ruptured after listening to youngest Hanson brother.

6. i leave acoustic room after circa 5 min because i am already done. i just want out. upon acoustic guitar room exodus i get knocked to the floor by Eddie Van Halen who is testing out a quadruple Marshall stack at volume 11. this is what i like to call "Guitar Center Rock Star" and is available for concert at any local Guitar Center. it is a guarantee this dude is rippin pentatonic solos out with heavy distortion and wah effect 24/7.

7. i pick up the pace to a mild jog over to where you buy guitar strings. for some reason these are all behind a counter on the other side of the store from the acoustic guitar room. you sense make no. i ask for Elixir mediums. these are the best strings in existence and yes, it does matter. dude behind counter who appears to be on acid very slowly turns around, looks at the wall, then turns back and says "awww we dont carry Elixirs." i am floored. these are the best strings available and Guitar Center has always carried them. always. i almost leave. i should have looking back on it, but i didnt. instead he recommends "D'Addario's newest and best strings that are just as good as the Elixir strings and last longer." i procure. then i leave ASAP.

i get home and sometime later i restring my guitar. these strings are terrible. no comparison. do not buy them. the 9 year old Dean Markley strings i have in storage in my attic sound almost as good. i bought a 30 pack of these strings somewhere on sale and still have a few left, but they may as well be chicken wire in comparison to the Elixir strings.

conclusion: frustration, annoyance, and no more Guitar Center for me.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Time's Picture of the Week

I am a big fan of TIME's Pictures of the Week section on the TIME website. Here is the link to the main photo area:


This is the picture I voted for, not that my opinion really matters. However, my taste tends to be very good in most things. Have a good weekend.


Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Faith Hill Fan Club


A buddy of mine here at work, we'll call him "Brian" had a story at lunch today. "Brian" is a guy straight out of Good Will Hunting... tough New England guy, knows more about stuff than he lets on, loves the Pats and the Red Sox.. your typical alpha male.

Well, a couple of years back "Brian" and his wife were at a country music festival and Faith Hill was performing. "Brian" was in the 4th row and pulled out his binoculars to get a close-up on Faith. Not that that is relevant to the story, but it is funny. After the show, they made an announcement that members of the Faith Hill fan club could line up to meet her. "Brian" was upset as he thought the opportunity to meet Faith would have been a good thing.

Fast forward to Christmas that year, "Brian's" wife provides him with a membership to the Faith Hill fan club. I think this may be one of the greatest joke ideas ever. I am definitely getting a friend of mine a Clay Aiken fan club membership this year. (Maybe it will even get displayed in the BBC?!) So, the festival rolls around the next year and sure enough Faith Hill is performing again. And sure enough, "Brian" is right there in line to meet Faith. His wife is somewhat aghast, but "Brian" is clutch enough to make sure that he has his t-shirt signed with his wife's name. A good blog topic if there ever was one.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Home Recording and Buyer's Guilt

Well, yesterday I plopped down some cash for some home recording studio equipment. I have been thinking about doing this for some time, but had yet to muster up the courage.

Items purchased:

Lexicon Lambda Interface- (pictured, lets you plug a guitar/microphone/keyboard in, and then run USB into your computer.

Shure SM58 Microphone- probably the most widely use performance mic ever.

Mic Cable/Mic Stand/New Guitar Strings- necessary for proper set-up.

I hooked up the equipment last night and was able to knock out a pretty good acoustic version of the song "Plush" by the end of the evening.

The problem? Buyer's guilt.

I don't really have buyer's remorse.. I like the stuff I bought and I didn't spend too much for it. However, it was largely unnecessary and was more purchased because I can't seem to let my rock star aspirations go. While the equipment may provide for some amusing mikeandtim original songs, it likely will not yield a record contract. So is it worth it? I don't know. The equipment may or may not be returned, it will depend on my guilt v platinum potential. We'll see....

Friday, August 04, 2006

civil war and my dinner two nights ago

there is a quite a bit of talk regarding a possible civil war in Iraq. dont get the wrong idea here, i am not pro-war. i do however consider myself to be somewhat logical and henceforth/thenceforth wonder why this is surprising. has the U.S. not gone over to Iraq to overthrow and reform the Iraqi Government? if so, can anyone reference a single Government overthrow/reform that has not resulted (or been the result of) in a civil war? i thought this was pretty much guaranteed.

on a lighter note, the following items were eaten by me for dinner two nights ago:

half serving of jambalaya
approx 1 cup of teddy grahams
1 banana
2 bud lights
1 hot dog with ketchup and mustard
1 lunch-size make your own tuna salad on crackers
half of a cup of trail mix with yogurt covered raisins

barfing took place 21 minutes later (not really, but you would think i probably should have)

Thursday, August 03, 2006

The Obvious News

I am sick of the obvious being put into the news. A headline on Yahoo today reads:

"Obese people may collapse more in heat"

Initially, I thought this was kind of funny. Especially if you consider the expression "dog in heat" and go in that direction. Anyway.

Is this not obvious to everyone?! Obese people are at a disadvantage for almost anything in life other than eating competitions and staying afloat in a body of water for an extended period of time. Such a waste of time, resources, web space, etc. Do not waste my time Yahoo, or the AP, or whatever news outlet you are by reporting such stupidity. I fully expect the next few headlines to pop up this year:

"Smoking may potentially cause lung cancer"

"Exercise may improve your overall health"

"War may result in casualites"

"Drinking may lead to difficulty in driving"

"Lance Bass may be Gay".... oh wait a minute. Lance Bass IS Gay!

Aside from these things, I also think the term "morbidly obese" is probably next on the list of phrases that will be deemed politically incorrect. It is awesome though. I mean, is there even one other context in the English language where "morbid" is regularly used? Just great.