Wednesday, December 14, 2005

rare breed of restroom goblin / victoria's secret?

the bathroom door handle. some protect themselves from it, some dont. some are not able to due to the hand dryer installation instead of paper towel dispenser. crazy environmentalists. regardless of what method of sanitation or lack thereof you exhibit upon restroom exodus, i witnessed a new one today. a coworker of mine went to the urinal to do his deed, then upon leaving the restroom, he grabbed a paper towel then used it to shield the door handle germ emporium from contaminating his hand and walked out the door. "what is so odd?" you ask...havent we all seen this?" the answer is no, no we have not. you may not have noticed, but i never said this particular restroom goblin ever washed his hands. that was because HE DIDNT. the dude took a piss, walked to the paper towel dispenser sans handwash, then tore paper towel off, grabbed door handle, and walked out.

well, call me old fashioned or call me gay (i prefer old fashioned), but i have issue with the nationally-televised-on-a-major-network Victoria's Secret fashion show. i know i will get ridicule for this but there needs to be some censorship somewhere. i mean, what non-gay dude with a dr. dingus doesnt want to watch this? all guys do. in fact, the gay dudes probably want to watch so they can check out the "fashion". my issue is that these women are asymptotically* approaching the tangential line of full nudity, which i am also not in favor of showing at 7pm on ABC. put this lingerie show on HBO or somewhere else where it is easier to shield a 9 year old latchkey kid with a remote from watching naked women on tv. whats next? all we have to do is look at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and we know where this is heading. you basically cant get any closer to nudity without the actual naked. SI figured it out, they now do body-paint swimsuits. the girl is nude but they are painted so its ok. so how long until we see painted-on lingerie? or see thru? or the actual sex on primetime television? not long enough.

* consult if you do not understand this metaphor


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