Tuesday, August 23, 2005

the regime...and the resistance

i currently have rather low motivation at work due to getting completely boned on my bonus at the end of last quarter, so i have devised a thing or two for entertainment purposes. the company i work for is inherently evil. if you do not believe me, ask any coworkers of mine. if you dont know any, then just take my word for it. i will write about its evil in future blogs. here is a little background:

for one, the regime here has redefined micromanagement. no employee is exempt from this scrutiny, but it bugs the hell out of all of us. the receptionist clocks when come in each morning, when we leave, when we step outside for a smoke break or just some fresh air, lunch clock in and out, all phone logs are printed and analyzed, hours at certain tasks are reported, no travel between the hours of 8am and 6pm, etc etc etc. it is terrible. there is a "spy" and has been identified as such (as if no one knew this already). much if not most of the spy's time is dedicated to listening to people's conversations, walking thru all cubicles looking at computer monitors, and going thru files while you arent at your desk. the spy takes smoke breaks at 5-10min intervals at strategic times of the day (early morning, lunchtime, 445pm till 630pm) to see when people come and go. i could go on forever on this, so let me just tell you what i have just implemented...

i have designated this person as "mda003". mda stands for Most Dangerous Agent, and the 003 is a similar numbering system to the Bond 007 system. the number is 003 because the spy is/was third in charge when the company was founded. mda003 leaves its cubicle 11,000 times per day at a minimum. so, i am going to track when mda003 gets up from desk, comes back to desk, and if mda003 looks at my computer monitor and at what intensity mda003 looketh. if mda003 and the regime are always watching me, i am going to always be watching them. i am compiling this data in a file each day and will post results on a semi-frequent basis to let you know the absurdity of the regime's micromanagement, and to ease my stress level due to their evil regime. nice.


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