Wednesday, January 11, 2006

the gastrointestinal effects of coffee


although probably not an original or groundbreaking theory, i have often hypothesized about the effects of coffee on one's colonic activity, especially on an empty stomach. it seems that many times i have drank coffee and shortly thereafter felt the imminent need to visit what the germans call a "water closet". so, i decided for the benefit of myself and the confirmed three readers of mikeandtim, i should do a little research on said topic. here are the findings...


the Department of Internal Medicine at the University of Iowa College of Medicine did a study on the effects of caffeinated coffee, decaf coffee, water, and a meal on the colon. each subject consumed one of these things, 240ml (1 cup) of the liquids or a 1000 kcal meal, and the effects were documented. needless to say, one cup of caffeinated coffee had about the same effect on stimulating colon activity as the 1000kcal meal, whereas the other liquids stimulated drastically less activity.

in summary: upon drinking a cup of coffee on an empty stomach, your colon thinks you just ate a huge meal, but without the volume of food to occupy/slow down the colon, which in turn equals explosive diarrhea circa 5 minutes after consuming aforementioned cup of coffee.

once again proving that the theories of mikeandtim are always found to be proven exactly correct by respected scientists who know stuff and conduct experiments in labs.

2 Comments:

At 1/11/2006 08:03:00 AM, Blogger Curt Awakening said...

Wow! That was so profound!!! ...grynfart!!!!
Actually being verified by Actual-Factual Signtist's

This strange kat seems to prefer Tea, however, I think you should go over there and razz him on his lack of profile views. (52 at count of this post)

This promp posting was made possible by God's use of the PulpFiction rss viewer in my life....

GodBleshya

(Why are you so afraid of Anonymous Cowards? That MarkLancaster.net character at least has the bravado to have somebody foolishly mock some
"Anonymous Coward".....in his last posting....

 
At 1/11/2006 11:42:00 AM, Blogger marklancaster.net said...

hey tim i posted mom's greatest quotes and jokes on my site today... you should check em out

 

Post a Comment

<< Home