Friday, January 06, 2006

3 year anniversary

i have now begun day one of my fourth year at my workplace, to which we will have a short list of highlights of my three year tenure. but to give you some background, my workplace may be the most unusual mix of people/ideologies in existence (not counting restaurants of course. the standard staff of servers at any restaurant will make anyone feel like they just walked into folklore heaven). lets just say my workplace is in the 99th percentile of weird. there are also too many similarities to office space than i care to count. let me issue the please-dont-fire-me-disclaimer that this is not meant to be malicious, just a factual account of a few happenings since i have been here. all the people mentioned are great people that i admire and look up to and any people who read this who would prefer i not write about my workplace or them personally can tell me and i will remove this post. now for the highlights in no particular order...

1. my first day here i was told to go do a building inspection with another new guy, who once we got in the building, he threw a dip in (no spit cup needed) and told me he went to southwest texas for 7 years and his last job was selling trailers for Palm Harbor
2. we have a brother/sister tandem that work here, and about a year ago on Jan 3 of 2005 their dad came on board. there was an email sent out that day saying he was a consultant and would be here "over the next few weeks" helping us on our marketing strategery. he is still here.
3. our CFO has sent email on how to work the copier
4. there is a guy named Milton that works here
5. there is a guy named Dave Matthews that works here (reference similarity to Michael Bolton in office space)
6. i have sat at 10 different cubicle/workspace locations (i am actually surprised this number isnt higher)
7. i have had my stapler stolen twice and my holepunch more times than i can count
8. we had a flood where there was 5 feet of water in the first floor of our building overnight, and my file cabinet was found approximately 11 feet from its original location.
9. the most worthwhile purchase i have made since i started here (perhaps ever) was a car blind spot mirror that i have stuck to my monitor. everyone sits with their back to a halway/other people. it has reduced my stress level by 80% just being able to see what goes on behind me.
10. there were 32 mice that died by mousetrap death in 2005. 4 have been killed in '06 thus far, which would be on pace for 243 and 1/3. prior to 2005, no official count was kept.
11. three cars have been stolen out of the parking lot during the middle of the day
12. i currently have 73 project binders on my shelves, thats a lot of dead trees

but like i have said a hundred times, this is the best place to work in America. now please dont fire me.


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