Tuesday, January 17, 2006

awards show rant

anybody watch the golden globes last night? i saw part of them. the only reason i watch things of this nature is so that i can generate some material to rip them later. i hate awards shows. i hate every one of them. they are all crap. heres why:

1. i have never been asked for my opinion on a movie/show/music and therefore have no input to who gets the award. since i (nor anyone else i have ever known) have never contributed to who gets these awards, i consider the award completely arbitrary and worthless.

2. i have no idea who the people are who give out the awards. "The Academy", the "Hollywood Foreign Press" and "The Recording Academy". i have been unable to find a list of members and/or qualifications for who votes on these awards.

3. most of the time, the awards go to the person/artist/movie i least want it to.

4. when the person receiving an award starts thanking people, i daze off into nowherevilleland.

5. people who actually did real creative work receive awards in a parallel universe that we dont get to see because we arent concerned with creativity or goodness, just watching the stars. these awards are given at a previously recorded unknown time and place and are paraphrased in about 45 seconds between everybody loves will smith camera time and whoopi goldberg sitings. then when these creative and award worthy people do finally get some stage time, it is a lifetime achievement award for a person we have never heard of before.

7. they vote for gay liberal not good artsy crap, like brokeback mountain. any movie that has one dude saying "i wish i knew how to quit you" to another dude needs to be instantly included in the next waste drop to the middle of the ocean.

8. note to hollywood: the following people are not funny...billy crystal, dennis miller, whoopi goldberg, colin quinn, sandra bernhardt, anyone involved with the blue collar comedy tour, and the two girls that now do "weekend update" on SNL.

9. evidence that the grammys have no value:
guns n roses has never won a grammy
led zeppelin has one grammy, but its a lifetime achievement award, which doesnt really count
madonna's first non-music-video grammy came in 1999. yep, her songs before that werent very good or influential, no one likes them at all.
nirvana won one grammy, for their MTV unplugged album.
dave matthews band only grammy win is for "So Much to Say"
moby has zero grammys.
pearl jam has one grammy. what for you ask? "Spin the Black Circle" heard of it?
will smith has 4 grammys. thats more than everyone (except madonna) listed above combined.

enough rant. support good music. support good film. support good art.


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