Wednesday, November 01, 2006

the halloween and the goat of no mercy

i have decided that it is not possible for an adult to look cool in a halloween costume. i am not suggesting that looking cool should be the goal, but there is no chance of doing so while wearing a spiderman costume large enough for a 6' 3" grown man. it looks terrible. it is pretty funny if both father and son wear matching costumes though.

my wife and i went to a halloween festival of sorts in the parking lot of a local church and there were a few interesting findings. the worst live band i have ever heard was there. even my wife, who is of average music conscience since she does not play a musical instrument of any kind, said it seemed that none of the people on stage were playing the same song even. that is pretty bad.

sure we saw our share of lil goblins, superheroes, and princesses, but the element that caught most of my attention was the petting zoo. one of the most traumatic experiences of my life was within the minimum security confines of a petting zoo. aside from nearly drowning in a hot tub circa age 3, it is up there on difficult childhood memories to overcome. you may say "but mike, get over it, how could it be that bad." my friends, let me tell you how.

i am unsure how old i was, or my exact location in the state of Pennsylvania, but what i am sure of is that i was attacked by an overly aggressive goat in a petting zoo when i was about 5 years old. i was old enough to run, but not old enough to run away from this demongoat that chased me in circles around a fenced in death trap. i ran and ran while this demon-goat chased me and issued no quarter to my arm flares and piercing screams. it is without question my least favorite animal, this goat. as it chased me it occasionally head butted my backside and i felt as if this goat was eventually going to eat me alive. i could not be more serious about my disgust for this wild man-eater. to this day, i hate the goat.


At 11/02/2006 06:49:00 AM, Blogger mikeandtim said...

Ironically- I, andtim, had a similar experience with a turkey at the Houston Zoo at about 3 years of age. Thus I do not like turkey at all, it ruins Thanksgiving, which would otherwise be a much more enjoyable holiday.


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