Tuesday, June 06, 2006

McManders throws the challenge flag

how are ya? been a while since the last posting. how bout this though...i tried really hard to get a covert ops picture of our boy McManders last night, but mission was aborted when he nearly caught me. he probably saw me, i actually had to play like i was doing something else to divert attention from the camera. i will get one and post it, dont worry.

long blog ahead, but hopefully a decent read...

McManders paid us a visit yesterday evening. to preface, i got home circa 6:15pm from work, went inside and said hello to wife and Macy the dog, then went outside and turned my sprinkler on. if you recall old posts, the lawn sprinkler of mine is my nemesis # 1. it is kind of a pain in the hindquarters, since i have to uncoil the hose from behind the bushes, angle the sprinkler, and turn the hose on and hope to avoid getting sprayed. i live in north texas, in the dallas area and we have restrictions on when we can water our yards since it has been dry up here. well, about 10min after i turned the sprinkler on, the doorbell rings. it is Old Man McManders. i open the door and say hello, which throws him off since he was on a mission. here is the approximate dialogue that took place...

McManders: Ya know...you're breaking the law.
Mike: What do you mean?
McManders: You are watering your yard with a sprinkler, and that is against the law. You are only allowed to water on Sundays and Thursdays.
Mike: Really? I am pretty sure I can water using my hose-end sprinkler any time after 6pm until 10am in the morning.
McManders: No, you cannot. You are breaking the law and there are big fines for that. The city is tough on watering and you could get a big fine.
Mike: Well, I certainly don't want to break the law or be fined. I may have misunderstood the city regulations but I really think that I am ok watering right now. I will have to call the city to confirm. (I know McManders already reported my yard for needing to be mowed, a ridiculous accustation, but I don't want to piss him off since he is basically the neighborhood tattler.)
McManders: I already called the lady on the corner (we refer to her as the Tamale Lady) and she said I was right, then I called the City and they said it is against the law too. (Old man grunt/heavy breathing) You are breaking the law. You can water with just a hose anytime, but not with a sprinkler on the end, that can get you a fine.
Mike: Well I appreciate you letting me know that. I really think I am ok, but I am going to go call the City right now and ask them because the last thing I want is a fine or to do something I shouldn't be doing.
McManders: Yeah, (grunt) ok. Let me know if you find out anything different. Ok now. (Slowly walks back home)

now i was fired up. i was calm about it, but i was just hacked that now this pretty much confirms that he called the city on my yard, and he is the neighborhood behavior nazi. i was pretty sure i was in the right too, as i had looked up watering restrictions somewhat recently. so i go straight to the computer and look it up to find the below...


"Hose-end Sprinkler, soaker hose, drip irrigation: Watering prohibited 10am - 6pm daily"

i was so excited. i was actually right and McManders was wrong! i can water my yard every day after 6pm if i want to!! so, of course i had to print out the schedule, highlighted the applicable portions and walked it over to his house to discuss. it was my first time inside the evil lair of McManders. it was crazy. right when you first walk in the door there is a cage-elevator that takes you down approximately one mile underground to a poorly lit cave with a torch lit path. he walked in front of me until we reached an area where it opened up a bit and you could see streams of radioactive goo that flowed into a huge steel vat labeled "Super-Secret Super-Good Grass Growth Nectar." i knew he reported my lawn because he was jealous it was actually starting to look better than this. i am not sure why we went down there, McManders never said a word. then we took a different elevator back up to ground level into his almost all white, sterile looking living room with white furniture and translucent wall hangings. i gave him the highlighted sheet i printed out, discussed with him, and he gave in, saying "well, i guess i learned something today, didn't know you could do that." i was super nice and polite to him the whole time, but don't think i wasn't watching his every move. that McManders is one sneaky fella. after our talk he thanked me and i went back home with a big grin on my face.

mike - 1
mcmanders - 0

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