Thursday, May 05, 2005

insecurity or competitiveness (part 2)

continued from yesterday's post...

i am trekking along in this 5k of misery and am about half way done with mile 2. i am so hot that i consider shedding clothing with no intention of recovery. however, i do not, and am very dehydrated. at this point my pace begins to slow as each step feels like i am lifting bricks attached to my feet while i run. i make the executive decision that once i reach mile 2, i am officially done with the running. i will walk until i feel like i have cooled down and can offer a slow jog. i am getting passed by dozens of runners at this point and i feel shame with each that runs by me. finally one of my buddies that i passed long ago has caught me, so i jog with him. i am so out of shape, even at this 9min mile pace, i must stop and walk once more. i walk for maybe 100 yards this time i think, my friend happy we are walking as well. then we jog the rest of the way and reach the finish sans vomit.

after the race, all of us (there were 10 of us total, 5 guys/5 girls) go to cracker barrell for "brunch". i sip some water although i begin to feel nausea. i am so exhausted i want to put my head on the table and close my eyes. so after i put my head on the table, i am pretty dazed and after ordering lunch, i decide my only hope to recover from dehydration/exhaustion is to leave the table and go lay in the car. this turned out to be a good move because i made myself pound a bottle of water before taking a 20min nap. everyone else gets their food, eats, and comes out to the car and i wake up.

we are now supposed to split off from the girls and the guys were going to go play a round of golf. i sloth around until we leave for the course (which is only about 5 min) and my love for golf outweighs my internal self-destruction meter. upon reaching the course, i slake my thirst with a powerade and eat a hot dog, hit the range, and turn in a respectable 94.

so why the long story? because as i said before, i am now a hamster. i feel so much less shame as a hamster than i did after my insipid 5k performance. i was so disappointed with my 5k that even though i execrate running, i will run more and will do so on a treadmill in a climate-controlled environment like the rest of you runners. since then, i have been running quite a bit and evidently i am outwardly proud of this since i am blogging about it. i have since ran a 5k on the treadmill and felt great afterwards. althought that may sound pathetic that i point that out, i consider it an accomplishment since i am closing in on 25min/5k. my goal is to be able to do it in 23min (averaging 7min miles). i can't really figure out if i run due to insecurity about my athletic abilities or if i am just very competitive, but i am leaning towards the competitive side.

i plan on running many more 5k races in the near future and invite you to join me if you feel the desire.



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