Monday, July 03, 2006


most of us could identify a penguin. they are typically found in cold climates. they are flightless birds that look to be wearing the tuxedo. they have short legs with webbed feet and can endure the harshest of climates. they are amazing animals, sometimes going months without food. however, there are penguins amongst the populace. they live in houses, apartments, perhaps even condominiums. they are the human version of the penguin. this nickname of penguin comes from the first identified penguin. he kinda has the stature and posture of a penguin, that being the first and most obvious characteristic. he also has a unique pitch of voice which is somewhat close to that of a penguin bawk. they typically talk quite a bit about their past, making unusual claims and frequently going on diatribes that are mostly, if not entirely versed in cliches. they tend to bawk out orders instead of handling tasks on their own and like to talk a lot. when they do put their beak to the grindstone, it is usually in tasks that they enjoy doing but are not good uses of their time, often an actual waste of time. penguins often stand with their hands on their hips, except for one distinction - they invert their hands which gives an appearance of a flipper. they also probably liked to spend large amounts of time in the nude when they were in Jr High and High School sports locker rooms. the reason for this has not been confirmed, although the speculation is they just like to make others uncomfortable and think by exposing their Dr. Dingle that he shows he is being a man by not caring about being unclothed. rumor has it that the penguin will only wear "Tighty Whities" but no sane human is willing to try and confirm this.

penguins often talk about how great they were in the past, usually in an academic or athletic sense. they are masters of palaver, often wasting hours of time bawking of the good ol days or details that are completely irrelevent which they ramble on because they think it makes them look smarter. they have a strange blend of positive encouragement coupled with public degradation. penguins misuse words in the english language frequently, again with the intention of sounding intelligent. outrageous claims by penguins may or may not include the following: inventing concepts, inventing assorted gadgetry, inconsequential innovations, plagiarism, thievery of good work, post-graduate education that cannot be confirmed, being knighted by the Queen of England, and being nominated for various Nobel prizes. in short, they speak of nonsense and are quirky, ornery little folk.

you know these penguins are out there. be aware.


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